My first blog was a poem to my big cousin. It's not been uncommon over the years to write these things. When there are feelings inside me, I sometimes sit and try to write them out.
I've never really known what to do with them once they are finished, just the cathartic action of writing it has usually been enough. But some of them lay about, I don't normally look at them because they are still real for the moment they came from. They aren't always sad or gloomy either even though these two carry sadness and gloom.
This one I wrote early in 2010. I was down in Liverpool looking after my dad, he had just been diagnosed with stomach cancer. He was 79 at the time and his prospects were very limited. He had lost weight, he was under 7 stone and because of his weakened condition there was no chemo or radio therapy for him because the doctors thought it would do more harm than good. So straight for the operation to cut it out, along with his stomach.
I really thought I was there to care for him while he died but he didn't. He came through the operation and he is still here to tell the tale today. While I was there and in between trying to do all the things I could to show him I loved him (apart from just saying that to him) I went for walks. My mother, his wife. had died 6 years before and there were no other siblings to share this time with.
These were the silly thoughts that went through my mind;
From a little family of three,
My mum my dad and me.
Hangs a broken little branch
From an ancient old tree,
Whose whispered little promise
From their mammies knee,
Sends a tiny little ripple
Across a ripple-less sea.
A wounded little face
Steps back from the race.
A frozen little smile,
Stands aside from the chase.
A breathless little pause,
A stinging little tear,
A desperate little prayer,
Begs the lord to be near.© 2010 S Evans All Rights Reserved
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