Cast Adrift

This is not my personal experience but I watched my mother go through deep depression on a number of occasions. You can only love and be with them, reason and life advice is worthless.

Cast adrift
Far from the shore
A rift in the Star Trek thing
My time line's not in sync anymore
Some days it seems I've lost my way
Some days, I don't know, it's hard to say 
I'm played like a ball in 
A restless sea 
Pushed by the fates enveloping me 
Laughed at by those little gremlins 
Whose job makes ours tougher 
Shadows on the edge of your mind 
That thrive while we suffer 
Don't tell me tomorrow's another day 
And when the sun shines we'll go 
Back out to play 
Don't tell me life's a blast 
And to savour each parsec while it lasts 
I see the black cloud 
That billows and flaps 
And wraps us up 
Tight as a shroud 
I see the end
I see the deep 
I see the release found in unsettled sleep
I know what it is to wither 
To be afraid and alone 
To stand there and dither
I know what it is to embrace the abyss
To step in the dark and not to resist 
To close my eyes and swallow the draught 
To enter the dream where those gremlins laughed 
I know you know 
That the end's down below 
In a fathomless pit
Where the nightmares grow. 
SE

Sweet Bird Of Paradise

With the recent announcement of our daughters engagement and her wish for a beach wedding in a warm place and separately a gift of a blown glass exotic bird sitting on a little glass perch, I wrote this:

Sweet Bird Of Paradise

Sweet bird of paradise
Such dreams you entice
Perched on your coloured glass roost
High over those you've seduced
Rocking gently in summer's breeze
Your long tail feathers tailored to please 
With freedom in the skies to play 
You prey upon our minds today 
A shock of colour on a swaying perch 
These are the people this is the church
Let bells ring out across the land 
Standing barefoot in the sand 
A fragile beauty scattered with rice 
Visions of vivacity, oh sweet bird in paradise.

SE

A Little Candle's Tale

I lit a little candle today
I said a little prayer
And where mind's thoughts did stray
They took me gently to her

Through rose scented parks we stepped out
Strolled along hewn stone paths
Moist hands clasped to dispel all doubt
Eyes sparkled as her smiles crystallised into tinkling laughs

Hearts cradled in each others care
Fragile as time does allow
Sweet passion in the mingling breathe that we share
Happily trading all the tomorrows for right now

For The Souls I've Loved And Lost

The busy years tick away
And my fragile skin gets thicker by the day.
The many pains life asks me to endure
Accumulate and habitate my very core
Those once vibrant people who etched the laughter on my face
Who warmed my bones and stirred my heart 
In the grip of their embrace
Now they occupy the echoing corridors of my mind
And make the faith in our Father so very difficult to find
Each pain a link to all the pain
Each hurt a fresh hurt hurting all the other hurts
And my thickening skin no protection in this storm
Tis those enduring memories that help to keep me warm
Those smiling faces, those silent whispers nodding their assent
Reminding me in every second 
To savor these precious minutes as they’re spent.

A bit neglected the old blog. I suppose it was inevitable, I got all that stuff out of my system or at least learned how to manage it and this blog was part of the how that happened.

Losing people in your life is part of the process, a terrible part of the process and it doesn't get any easier each time it happens. I wonder if it helps you prepare for your own demise. I saw in my dad his acceptance of what was about to happen to him, he'd done what he could to save himself but when presented with the inevitable he was able to stare into the abyss. I remember offering him the religious route, he was never religious and never really anti religious either but he took no comfort in the thoughts i offered him and remained cynical to the end but largely unafraid.

I turned 60 in the interim and being the dweller that I am, I'm always wondering what where and how.

I'll show you...